Good Goodbye.

Finally, the time has come.
After all the long waits, days of loneliness, hours of boredom...
I'm out of here!
Yay...
Today is the last day to be in UPM for my first year!
My last day to be in 169 Rajawali to be exact.
My last morning waking up on my bed.

Hahaha...
I wonder who'll be staying in this room next semester.
They will surely complain about the speed of the fan. (Seriously stuffy!!)

Damn I should be studying for my statistics now!
What ordinary people will say :"Statistics, I'm gonna bring you down!"
What I will say :"Statistics, you're gonna bring me down!"
XD
Whatever....
This very last minute studying will not help much.
Will flip through later.

Awwwwww.........
I'm gonna miss blogging and crapping here.
Sigh...
Never mind.
I'll talk to my dogs.
Biber~~~

 Last day in 169. Adios~!

 

Indulging In Dreamland

Gosh I'm so tired.
It's 1 something in the morning and I'm still blogging.
Seeeee.... This is what happen when I have no one to talk to!
But I'm good at talking to myself for certain reasons.
Just finished my 4 hours intense statistics revision.
Ha.....
Never thought of doing revision but since there's a class, might as well just join.
And I'm glad I went.
Cause I knew I won't be doing anything in the room and feasting my eyes whole night. (Yes I'm talking about LSG. Who else?? XD )
I've been mentioning about giving up on statistics for days.
Looks like there's still chances in getting A.
Well... At least I can say I've put in effort (although not that much but still.... )

Weeeee.......
In less than 24 hours I'll be out of here.
Counting down.
But then I have lots of things to pack.
Whole room is a mess now but luckily room mate ain't around.
So... Who cares!
Better pack everything tomorrow morning.
Much to be done but not that much time.

Have lots of things in my mind.
Things to do when I'm back at Kuantan.
The most important is meeting with Yun.
I'm so gonna miss her!!!
Things to bake cause I haven't bake in ages.
Kimchi! Gonna do tons of it.
Traveling with family and friends.
And early morning walks with grandparents at the beach.
Yes I miss TC!!!

Oh well....
These will be done when I'm back.
I'm going home.
Home Home Home!!!
Ho~ Ho~ Ho~
The only thing I'll miss here is the internet access.
Sighhhh....
Never mind... I'll just go to mama's office.
= D

2 More Papers To Go!

2 more days and I'll leave this place.
Sounds like I'm leaving for good but unfortunately that's not the case.
This Friday marks the very last day for my first year in Uni.
Great!!!
Nothing to be happy about cause it's a hard start for me.
Hopefully next semester will be a better one.
Once I'm home, then everything will be the same just as before I enter Uni.
My home, my bed, my dogs and the people around me.
Only thing is that popo is not around.
Sigh...
Regrets are overwhelming.
It's over now and nothing much I can do.
Will spend more time with ah gong and ah ma.
Popo's death just give me so much fear that someday ah gong and ah ma might leave us too.

Gosh....
Room mate not around just makes me much more emo.
Missing her already.
Looks like we'll be having different room mate next semester.
It'll be great if she's still my room mate.
She's the one I can talk to...
Share my thoughts, happiness, sadness, craziness...
I'm gonna miss those late night pillow talks where we'll just chat and chat and chat

Gonna watch 2d1n now.
Need something to make me forget about those sad things.
If only my sisters are here.
At least they watch dramas and movies with me.
At least I'm not alone.

It's The Heart That Counts

It was my 21st birthday last Saturday.
Got many wishes from friends.
But not from my family cause neither of them remembered my birthday (as usual~)
Anyways, was very touched by all the kind wishes from my friends.
Especially the phone call from Wen Ni.
She's still in India.
Never in my wildest imagination that she would call to wish.
It's pretty sweet of her and it's happier and funnier that we wished each other happy birthday.
Khang Sheng and ShiYun called too.
Awwww...... How much I miss them.
Sigh...
There's so many things to share with them (in other word, 'KEPOH')
But yeah... will meet them soon and tell them later.
My coursemates were sweet enough to give me a birthday card.
Haven't received one in many years. Thanks to them = )
And also all the sincere wishes on FB and through messages.
Thanks a lot.
Celebration?
I can't.
Not that I can't but it's still the mourning period and it's best if I respect it.
It's also the 14th day since popo passed away.
Many say that everyone's 21st birthday is such a big thing to be celebrated.
But I guess it's not that very important for me cause family is still by far more important.
JiMuis are not around with me this year.
And my first time in many years a birthday without cake.
Hahaha....
Spent my day with June watching drama till 5am.
I don't know why I wasn't sleepy that night.

It's my final exam period but I can't concentrate at all.
Last time no matter how lazy I am I'll definitely study.
But not in this case.
I just wish time would pass fast.
That's all...
I just wanna go home.
Home is where I want to be at this moment.
Where family and friends is.

Looks like I need lots of TLC.

Always In Our Memories

Popo passed away on last Sunday 3/6/2012.
It was such a sudden lost for us.
Never knew that this could happen.
We never thought that thing was this serious.
And the doctor....... Damn I feel like spanking him after hearing what mum said.
If popo's condition was too severe to carry out any operation and you know that there are no possibilities anymore, you should have told us!
It was your responsibilities to inform the condition of popo to us.
And not giving us fake hopes and all.
If we knew popo would be gone so soon, we would have given her to eat the things she wanted.
We would have came back and spend more time with her.
We didn't dare to give her eat the things she wanted because we thought that it might worsen her situation.
We wanted her to carry out the operation so that she gets better.
This is the hope that you as a doctor gave us and all these while you knew that there is no way it could have happen.
Why didn't you tell us earlier??
I regretted so much for not going back 1 week earlier so that I could have spend more time with her.
She even told me to take leave the last time I visited her.
I promised her I will be back 2 weeks later to see her.
But it's too late...
It broke my heart so much to see how thin and weak she is on the bed the last time I went to visit her.
I even told her she will not feel the pain so much after the operation.
She couldn't even sleep well for that 1 month.
She was sitting all day long and couldn't even lie down on the bed.
She had to lean against a table to get some rest.
I felt so bad for not being able to do anything for her.
Popo was most afraid of pain.
Still remember the day she held my hand tightly when the nurse had to take blood from her.
The sight of the needle made her so scared.
I can't even imagine all the pain she had suffered during this 1 whole month.
And to think that no one was by her side all these time.
Only during meal time where mum and kam mou will be there.
How lonely she must have felt to suffer the pain alone.
And why must I fell sick when I'm back at Kuantan??
Why??!!!
I could've spend more time with her...
I could have been by her side.
I feel so sorry for so many things.
We all never expect her to leave us this fast.
All these while she's been so healthy
How long have she endured all the pain??
Hours seem like days to her.
When I told her that I will be back 2 weeks later, she kept telling me she's not sure whether she'll still be around.
And I didn't see her for the last time.
She was alone when she passed away.
No one was by her side.
We should have been by her side.
We should have....
I guess sis felt the worst.
She was the only 1 who didn't saw popo at all.
At least we all went back to visit popo when she was hospitalized.
Sis felt even worse when mum showed her popo's death certificate.
The cause of death just made her cried because all this could have prevented if popo follows her medications.
Sis mumbled her a few time last time for not taking her medicine.
She must have felt bad as she knows this kind of thing.
And I think popo really held on to her life to see Nick.
All these while his family didn't even inform him that popo is hospitalized.
He must have felt terrible for being able to see popo once.
Popo passed away the next day.
Sigh...
I could not hold back my tears the first time I see popo lying in the coffin.
So helpless... Wanted to wake her up so badly.
It hurts the most when we heard the sound of the coffin being nailed.
It was the last time that we were able to look at her face.

Popo was buried on 7th June 2012.
That was the day we all cried our hearts out.
All of us did.
Except for Nick.
He stood by the coffin the longest.
He must have many things to say to popo.
Deep inside he must have been heartbroken.

Had breakfast with ah gong and ah ma on Saturday.
Popo used to follow us for breakfast.
Not now anymore.. Nor in the future.
There's this sudden emptiness now.
I can't no longer stand in front of her house and shout ‘婆婆， 我来了！’
I miss her.
I miss her badly.

婆，
我很想你。
我要载你去吃早餐。
我要载你去买菜。
我还有很多东西没对你做。
没想到今年的新年是和你一起庆祝的最后一年。
再也不能弄饼干给你吃了。
对不起，从来没好好的孝顺你。
对不起。。。